IPhone Revisited

“At the entrance stand the public waits in a long queue in order to witness the accomplishment of the magical operation par excellence:”(Barthes, Roland) the unveiling of the new IPhone. People will wait for days on end outside in any weather for the chance to own the latest phone resurrection. The earth stands still when its time for the period before the craze and we wait and wait like a heard of sheep often foregoing work and other responsibilities like childcare and school.

It is crack cocaine in the palm of your hand. It is outrageously addictive and readily available. For a small fortune, a dream gadget with endless life changing capabilities could be yours. You will join the masses of the IPhone cult.

The makers of the Apple IPhone are geniuses. They have consumers convinced that if your phone is merely a few months old it is time to get a new one. As soon as you have mastered all the applications on one, a newer version comes out that’s faster and smarter than the one before. What was wrong with the original? Nothing.

The phone itself is sexy and sleek. It’s shiny screen and playful colors beckon to be touched as they light up the room. It’s void of typical phone ‘keys’ and instead has a virtual touch screen. What you see and what you’re touching doesn’t exist. It’s what you perceive. Don’t see what you’re looking for? Flick the screen until you find what you’re looking for. If only we could flick away everything we weren’t happy with. When done with one, flick on to the next great thing. Keep on flicking to find games, music, pictures, everything. It’s not necessary to even leave your apartment if you have an IPhone. Everything will now come to you in the comfort of your home.

These “crackberries” on steroids are so important in our everyday lives that not having your phone with you is out of the question. It is reason enough, after traveling several dozen miles to turn around if you left it sitting on your counter. With gps applications readily available to download it’s amazing that we went so long without the IPhone telling us where to turn and where the nearest Starbucks is.

Face to face interaction is no longer necessary, and in fact is becoming the norm. Human interaction will become obsolete. Your shiny hand held personal assistant can do everything for you. The pocket genius can figure out your restaurant tip, find your friends gps location, entertain you, take photographs, transfer and wire money, play music, level furniture, simulate reality, gauge speed, countdown days, and inform you of the song and artist currently playing on the latest phone commercial.

It is a status symbol conforming you and the rest of the world. You can pay as you go or invest an arm and a leg to afford one. Even the President of the United States refuses to give up his life link to the outside world, something no other president has held on to. It is that vital to our existence can’t let go. And it’s good that we can’t let go. The government can track our precise location, playback incriminating threats, and add on charges to already exuberant phone bills that only a PHD can decipher.

Instead of talking on the phone or writing letters like generations of yore, now we can text. Not only can we text fragments and laughter LOL we can see pictures of whom we’re texting. We create symphonic orchestras to inform us of incoming calls and messages. We can create a ring tone that plays loud enough for everyone on the train to hear and we can yell back into the device just as loud. As if the person on the other end were missing a hearing aid battery, we can all attest to the conversation at hand.

Yes, the IPhones are the reigning cool and are here to stay. They are the necessary accessory for every hand and every wardrobe. If you want to fit in and be a productive member of society an IPhone will be your best friend.

sent from my IPhone